Patience and Hard Work!

I will be the first to admit that I am not a patient person. If I ask you to do something it is because I want it done now, if I wanted it done in an hour I would do it myself! This lack of patience is also evident in other areas in my life, which also goes right along with avoiding hard work and looking for the easy way out. If I have pain, I want a pill to take it away. If I need to lose weight, I would rather take a pill than take the time to work with diet and exercise. If the washer or the car breaks down, I would rather use credit for the immediate repair or replacement, than to figure out how to do without for a little while and actually save money for it. I have seen the negative effects of this type of thinking/behavior throughout my life, yet for some reason I can't stop it. Unfortunately, I seem to have come to a point where I can no longer take the easy way out.

For the past couple of years I have been struggling with depression which is no longer responding to the "pill" that has worked for the past 10 years. I have been working with my doctor, trying different pills and medical treatments,  and have had some improvement, but it has only been short lived. I have gotten to the point where my doctor has run out of "pills" to try, and now it's just up to me to make a lifestyle change, improve my diet and exercise regularly. This is where I get Completely overwhelmed and just want to crawl into bed and sleep until I come up with a new plan. I Know I need to make these changes, but it's Hard Work and will Take Time! I did get a gym membership to assist in my efforts, thinking that maybe mixing it up a little between the treadmill and aerobics would help keep me motivated. Unfortunately, after One 45-minute, relatively easy workout, I was in bed for TWO Days! Not necessarily sore, but just exhausted. So, I decided I need to take it a little slower, maybe just a 20-minute walk on the treadmill a few times a week. I finally got back on the treadmill yesterday, only 20 minutes, only 3 MPH, only 2% incline, and that was the ONLY thing I accomplished yesterday. Again, not sore, just SO tired. I have a really hard time sticking with things if I don't see results, but now I am out of options, I Have to keep trying, this is my last hope.

Then I think about the part where I am supposed to improve my diet. I also Know this is an area that needs work, but I think I would do much better if someone Else was shopping and preparing all my meals on a daily basis. Sure, there are hundreds of good healthy recipes out there, but when I wake up hungry, I am going to eat the most satisfying thing I can find and prepare in 1 minute or less, which is usually a bowl of ice cream, or a piece of pumpkin pie. I might make some whole wheat toast for lunch, if I actually get up early enough to require 2 meals before dinner. Then come dinner time, Everyone is hungry, I'm tired again, so if there are no leftovers I will actually make a meal. Unfortunately, this will usually involve either a cream soup base, a lot of cheese, or something from the freezer that can be quickly warmed up in the oven, i.e. burritos, chicken nuggets, corn dogs . . .  you get the idea.

So I guess in general there are a lot of things in life that are going to get harder before they get easier, but how do you get past the hard part without just giving up? How do you Make yourself keep going when you don't seem to be getting anywhere? How do you get on the treadmill instead of getting back in bed? How do you Eat better, when none of the kids will eat what you make? How do you shop for "better" food when it seems to cost so much more?

I don't think Anyone has All the answers, and I'm mostly just thinking out loud here. I know someone might read this and wonder why I'm whining about little things when things could be so much worse. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for all the positive things in my life, but sometimes even counting my blessings cannot bring me back up. So I've decided it's come down to patience and hard work. I am going to have to work hard to get healthy, and I'm going to have to be patient in waiting for the positive results I am hoping for.